Dementor Jesus
Excerpt from Psalm 27:7-14
“Your face, Lord, do I seek. Do not hide your face from me.”
Reflection by Quinn G. Caldwell
The most beautiful part of the church I grew up in was the great Christ Window over the rear balcony. Kindly face, outstretched arms, glowing flowing robes: to me, this window had it, and said it, all.
There was only one problem with the Christ Window: nighttime. Each evening, as the light began to fade, so would Jesus’ face. Of course all stained-glass windows fade as the light behind them does, but I’m telling you that that face disappeared a good half hour before the rest of him did, leaving behind a black hole surrounded by glowing white robes: Dementor Jesus. It was terrifying.
As I got older, I stopped being creeped out by that window, and actually came to appreciate the transformation, for it’s a pretty good symbol of how I understand him—or don’t. Some days, the light streams through and I can see, clear as day, who he is: Glowing Jesus, Open Arms Jesus, Forgiving Jesus, Come-Unto-Me-My-Yoke-Is-Easy Jesus. Other times, it’s like the sun has gone down early. His face disappears. I lose track of who he is. What kind of savior says things like, “I have come not to bring peace but a sword”? What kind of friend is forever calling me “Ye of little faith” and “viper”? What kind of God promises to come back soon and then stays away for a couple of thousand years—and has he stayed away, or am I just missing something?
Prayer
Lord, don’t hide your face from me. Reveal yourself, and give me the grace to reveal you to the world. Amen.
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Ever feel as confused as Quinn about Jesus’ identity? To find out how Quinn shines a light back through Jesus’ face, plus learn what Jesus means to the other members of the Stillspeaking Writers’ Group, click here to order your copy of “The Jesus Diaries: Who Jesus is to Me.” Also ideal for use as a Lenten study.
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