I'll Just Say "Amen" to That
Excerpt from Ephesians 4:20-29
"Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only what is useful for building up, as there is need, so that your words may give grace to those who hear."
Reflection by Martin B. Copenhaver
Early in my ministry I served on the staff of First Congregational Church (UCC) in Burlington, Vermont, with Thelma Norton, the long-time Parish Visitor. She was almost three times my age when I came to the church. In my nine years there she taught me a great deal by her example. For instance, she would never utter a word of complaint about a parishioner. If she approached doing anything like that, she would stop herself—sometimes in mid-sentence—and say, "Well, I'll just say 'Amen' to that." Then she would change the subject.
Once during a staff meeting of the church I currently serve we were wrestling with some complaints from a few particularly grumpy parishioners. That made us rather grumpy ourselves. We even started to complain about the complainers. Somewhere in that conversation I reminded myself and my colleagues about Thelma's catch-phrase (I have a tendency to repeat myself and I needed the reminder, too). We were able to move on. The next week someone brought to the meeting bright yellow cards with the words, "Well, I'll just say 'Amen to that," printed on them. They are posted in our offices to this day, just in case we need the reminder.
It is much the same reminder offered to the Ephesians: "Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only what is useful for building up." It is so simple: Say those things that build up. Don't say those things that tear down. It is said that in successful marriages two or three things are left unsaid each day. And it is true of other relationships, as well. Thank you, Thelma.
Prayer
O God, help me to hold my tongue when I about to tear someone down. And when I need to be critical of another, may it only be in ways that, in the end, build up. Amen to that.
Excerpt from Ephesians 4:20-29
"Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only what is useful for building up, as there is need, so that your words may give grace to those who hear."
Reflection by Martin B. Copenhaver
Early in my ministry I served on the staff of First Congregational Church (UCC) in Burlington, Vermont, with Thelma Norton, the long-time Parish Visitor. She was almost three times my age when I came to the church. In my nine years there she taught me a great deal by her example. For instance, she would never utter a word of complaint about a parishioner. If she approached doing anything like that, she would stop herself—sometimes in mid-sentence—and say, "Well, I'll just say 'Amen' to that." Then she would change the subject.
Once during a staff meeting of the church I currently serve we were wrestling with some complaints from a few particularly grumpy parishioners. That made us rather grumpy ourselves. We even started to complain about the complainers. Somewhere in that conversation I reminded myself and my colleagues about Thelma's catch-phrase (I have a tendency to repeat myself and I needed the reminder, too). We were able to move on. The next week someone brought to the meeting bright yellow cards with the words, "Well, I'll just say 'Amen to that," printed on them. They are posted in our offices to this day, just in case we need the reminder.
It is much the same reminder offered to the Ephesians: "Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only what is useful for building up." It is so simple: Say those things that build up. Don't say those things that tear down. It is said that in successful marriages two or three things are left unsaid each day. And it is true of other relationships, as well. Thank you, Thelma.
Prayer
O God, help me to hold my tongue when I about to tear someone down. And when I need to be critical of another, may it only be in ways that, in the end, build up. Amen to that.
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