Giving in the
Bleak of Midwinter
Written by Michael Purintun, M.Div.
Monday, 19 December 2011 11:45
What gift do you give when you are borrowing money just to make it
through the month? What sort of happy holidays do you wish to children and
adults, when you are worried about keeping the power on or whether you need to
apply for food stamps?
With the echoes of
“Baby, It’s Cold Outside” ringing in my ears, I find myself pondering
the holidays and the season. It is cold and dark and can sometimes feel like
the light has gone from the world. The season itself, though decorated with
light and warmth in Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, Solstice, and other “holy
days,” is not without its downers. And we all know them.
On the radio, you
can listen to some Country singer wail on about “The Christmas Shoes.” There
are a plentitude of Holiday specials and
Lifetime movies encouraging people to just feel the spirit. And you can watch A
Christmas Carol, and wonder about how you could be so miserly as Scrooge, or
feel like you are living Bob Cratchet’s Christmas (possibly even worse). Many
of these events and movies, and even the commercials in between assume an
ability to change the world for the better by just being more generous. What if
you can’t be more generous?
What do you give
when you don’t have enough?
What do you give
(emotionally) when the world has ground you into dust, and just getting up in
the morning is an accomplishment?
That sense of
barrenness or bleakness reminds me of the hymn, “In the Bleak Midwinter,” the
text coming from a poem by Christina Rosetti. The first stanza in particular:
In the bleak midwinter
frosty wind made moan,
Earth stood hard as iron,
water like a stone,
Snow had fallen, snow on snow,
Snow on snow,
In the bleak midwinter,
long ago.
It is not just the
earth that is sometimes hard as iron. Sometimes life itself is hard. Sometimes
we can feel broken by the circumstances of life. I know I can.
I was reminded of
that recently when someone remarked that they had presented a seminar recently
on the unemployed, and how to work with them. My heart dropped as I realized
that I was part of that group. I could teach that seminar from real life
experience! My life over the past three years has been, at times, terribly
hard. Most months I worried how I was going to make my mortgage, or the condo
payment.
Presently, I work
part-time for the Wayne Oates Institute, and do some other part-time work. I
also get some help from family and friends. Working at the Oates Institute has
been a great new experience in my life, but I am still under water, almost
three years after being let go.
Baby, it really IS
cold outside. When a politician talks about the unemployed as if they are lazy
dogs that just don’t work hard enough, like them or the Wall Street Bankers, it
hurts. For example, in today’s New York Times, I read that Mitt Romney is
quoted as saying that:
… the American
people, edified by American principles, will rise to the occasion again,
securing our safety, our prosperity and our peace.
One of these principles
is a merit-based society. In a merit-based society, people achieve success and
rewards through hard work, education, risk taking and even a little luck.
My colleagues in
unemployment and underemployed, are hard-working, educated, and talented people.
They frequently have a wide range of skills. One man I know is working as
bus-driver in the early morning, a testing grader during the day, and UPS
shipping clerk at night. Another is a young woman six months pregnant with her
first child that struggles to find work. She shares her home with her
boyfriend, and other unemployed and underemployed family members because there
is not enough room at her mother’s house. Then there are the people who have
just given up on careers, and have settled for jobs that are basic … many
offering no health care at all.
This does not jive
with the common perception in our society that it is always possible to work
out of a bad situation. Or that “God never hands you more than you can handle.”
I’ve seen and met people who had more than they could handle, or who were
broken. They DO exist. And how do we respond?
I think we have to
realize two things that are related: first that we are never alone. There are
others who also walk these barren landscapes, and they also are searching for
hope. But the greatest source of hope is not to be found out there, but within
and among the community. Hope, warmth for the cold, and nurture for those
needing it can be found as we realize that while the earth may be cold and
hard, it can be warmed by the kindnesses of friends, family, and strangers.
Hope is, however, not just in the actions of others, but in our own openness to
it. As we allow ourselves to be warm, vulnerable, and human, we open our own
hearts. And we warm ourselves and the world around us. Back to Rosetti:
What can I give Him,
Poor as I am?
If I were a shepherd
I would bring a lamb,
If I were a wise man
I would do my part,
Yet what I can I give Him,
Give my heart.
Admittedly, a very
Christian sentiment, but the meaning is transcendent in that all we can ever
offer to one another and the world is our heart. It is, truly, the greatest
gift we can give this holiday season. Whether we sing about lighting a candle
for the Maccabees, or about celebrating solstice, or Christmas, we need to face
the reality that the offering that is the most meaningful is that of ourselves.
May each of us find
the courage to open ourselves and to be vulnerable to the other during this
season, and throughout the year.
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